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I am Not Me !!!

07 May
 
I am not sure why I have done this again. Time and again its the same mistake. What is the error inbuilt in me?-Expectation. Expecting paradise when its just an oasis, expecting laughter out of a smile, expecting discussion out of a word spoken. Its just not day in and day out, but when it runs through your blood, there is no transfusion of logic or philosophy to help you. The greatest doubt, whether I would come out of this? Can never be explained. I am not sure why I talk to everyone, why I joke, why I smile, why am I writing this post at all….when I am sure that nothing is straight from my heart….its like my mind codes a thought and the lips decode the opposite. There is no connection between the nerves, they just don’t obey my orders. I am still chirpy, I still try to speak a lot, coz silence means I am ill (thats what my well wishers believe). But no one ever imagines and understands how difficult it is to be fake, how difficult it is to try to be myself always. When the abstract noun called Loneliness creeps in, you become so selfish, you think about just yourself. When there is oxygen around why can’t I breath, when there is a crowd around, why do I feel I am all alone amidst the ocean with just the scorching sun to torture.(And yes for all you sweet people in my life…..discussion on this topic is not appreciated…hehe 🙂 )

 

 

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1 Comment

Posted by on May 7, 2008 in Thats Me and my Thots

 

One response to “I am Not Me !!!

  1. Jui

    May 8, 2008 at 6:28 am

    ‘When there is oxygen around why can’t I breath, when there is a crowd around, why do I feel I am all alone amidst the ocean with just the scorching sun to torture.’

    i am not here to discuss ur post.. just here to say well said to you..

     

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